Originally posted on March 19, 2011 by liveyourbliss

After so much searching, I’ve finally discovered the key to Enlightenment.

Irregular verbs. Portuguese irregular verbs.

No matter how many times I try to tell someone what I used to do, what I wanted, or what I had, all of the words get tangled up inside my head. Instead of using the past tense of ter (to have), querer (to want) or fazer (to make/do), I find sneaky ways to get around it.

For example, instead of saying: ”Eu queria muito ter ido,” which means, “I really wanted to go.”

I’ll say something like: “Estou muito triste…eu estava aqui, mas lá não la. A festa estava boa?” This roughly translates to “I am very sad. I was here, but not there. The party was good?”

The good part about having to use three times as many words that it really stretches out a conversation. I like to imagine that people see my archaic way of speaking as somewhat mysterious. Perhaps I come across as poetic, or even profound:

“I know that which you see is here now. I see this, too, and I know that it is good.”

The best part is that my inability to recall the past or future tenses of key verbs means that I can only have, do, or want what is immediately in front of me. 

Just what my little monkey mind needed all along.